I recently viewed an extraordinarily powerful video of a six year old child explaining her emotional needs to her divorced parents. This young girl shares in very poignant ways how she needs her parents to be friends, to be calm, to be stable, and to be nice to each other. This video and what the child is sharing is exactly the reason I wrote Family Changes: Explaining Divorce to Children. The ideal model for divorcing parents is for the parents to explain the divorce to the child in simple, non-blaming language, to collaboratively co-parent, to put the child’s needs above and beyond their own needs and disputes, and to create a calm, stable, and loving environment for the child in each home. In the video, you hear the child tell her mother in very mature but clear ways how important it is for her parents to stop being mean to each other, because if everyone is angry, it will create monsters. She goes on to articulate how she is always trying to be the best she can be, so why can’t her parents also try to be the best they can be? This is an excellent video coming straight from the heart of a young child, and is an exceptionally valuable message that ALL parents – divorced or married – need to pay close attention to.
